After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair, has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.

Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.

The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam Carolla's comedic gospel of modern America. In his signature balls-out style, Carolla rips into the absurdity of the culture that made Steve Miller a rock star, demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.

The author of two critically acclaimed novels, The Russian Debutante’s Handbook and Absurdistan, Gary Shteyngart has risen to the top of the fiction world. Now, in his hilarious and heartfelt new novel, he envisions a deliciously dark tale of America’s dysfunctional coming years—and the timeless and tender feelings that just might bring us back from the brink.

In a very near future—oh, let’s say next Tuesday—a functionally illiterate America is about to collapse. But don’t that tell that to poor Lenny Abramov, the thirty-nine-year-old son of an angry Russian immigrant janitor, proud author of what may well be the world’s last diary, and less-proud owner of a bald spot shaped like the great state of Ohio. Despite his job at an outfit called Post-Human Services, which attempts to provide immortality for its super-rich clientele, death is clearly stalking this cholesterol-rich morsel of a man. And why shouldn’t it? Lenny’s from a different century—he totally loves books (or “printed, bound media artifacts,” as they’re now known), even though most of his peers find them smelly and annoying. But even more than books, Lenny loves Eunice Park, an impossibly cute and impossibly cruel twenty-four-year-old Korean American woman who just graduated from Elderbird College with a major in Images and a minor in Assertiveness.

After meeting Lenny on an extended Roman holiday, blistering Eunice puts that Assertiveness minor to work, teaching our “ancient dork” effective new ways to brush his teeth and making him buy a cottony nonflammable wardrobe. But America proves less flame-resistant than Lenny’s new threads. The country is crushed by a credit crisis, riots break out in New York’s Central Park, the city’s streets are lined with National Guard tanks on every corner, the dollar is so over, and our patient Chinese creditors may just be ready to foreclose on the whole mess. Undeterred, Lenny vows to love both Eunice and his homeland. He’s going to convince his fickle new love that in a time without standards or stability, in a world where single people can determine a dating prospect’s “hotness” and “sustainability” with the click of a button, in a society where the privileged may live forever but the unfortunate will die all too soon, there is still value in being a real human being.

Wildly funny, rich, and humane, Super Sad True Love Story is a knockout novel by a young master, a book in which falling in love just may redeem a planet falling apart.
 

The author of two critically acclaimed novels, The Russian Debutante’s Handbook and Absurdistan, Gary Shteyngart has risen to the top of the fiction world. Now, in his hilarious and heartfelt new novel, he envisions a deliciously dark tale of America’s dysfunctional coming years—and the timeless and tender feelings that just might bring us back from the brink.

In a very near future—oh, let’s say next Tuesday—a functionally illiterate America is about to collapse. But don’t that tell that to poor Lenny Abramov, the thirty-nine-year-old son of an angry Russian immigrant janitor, proud author of what may well be the world’s last diary, and less-proud owner of a bald spot shaped like the great state of Ohio. Despite his job at an outfit called Post-Human Services, which attempts to provide immortality for its super-rich clientele, death is clearly stalking this cholesterol-rich morsel of a man. And why shouldn’t it? Lenny’s from a different century—he totally loves books (or “printed, bound media artifacts,” as they’re now known), even though most of his peers find them smelly and annoying. But even more than books, Lenny loves Eunice Park, an impossibly cute and impossibly cruel twenty-four-year-old Korean American woman who just graduated from Elderbird College with a major in Images and a minor in Assertiveness.

After meeting Lenny on an extended Roman holiday, blistering Eunice puts that Assertiveness minor to work, teaching our “ancient dork” effective new ways to brush his teeth and making him buy a cottony nonflammable wardrobe. But America proves less flame-resistant than Lenny’s new threads. The country is crushed by a credit crisis, riots break out in New York’s Central Park, the city’s streets are lined with National Guard tanks on every corner, the dollar is so over, and our patient Chinese creditors may just be ready to foreclose on the whole mess. Undeterred, Lenny vows to love both Eunice and his homeland. He’s going to convince his fickle new love that in a time without standards or stability, in a world where single people can determine a dating prospect’s “hotness” and “sustainability” with the click of a button, in a society where the privileged may live forever but the unfortunate will die all too soon, there is still value in being a real human being.

Wildly funny, rich, and humane, Super Sad True Love Story is a knockout novel by a young master, a book in which falling in love just may redeem a planet falling apart.
 


From the Hardcover edition.

(WASHINGTON, D.C.) On May 20, 2010, Laura Ingraham received a package from an anonymous source that will change the history of the United States and the legacy of President Barack Obama. While retrieving her automobile from the underground garage at the Watergate complex (where she had just enjoyed her weekly pedicure), Ingraham discovered a manila envelope on the hood of her car. When she picked it up, a deep baritone voice called out from a nearby stairwell: Just read it. You’ll know what to do. The shadowy figure then disappeared into the darkness without another word.

The envelope contained copies of what appeared to be diary entries written by President Barack Obama, his family, and high-ranking administration officials. Because the diaries are so revealing, Ingraham felt compelled to release them to the American public and the citizens of the world.

Major media outlets love to describe the president as no drama Obama, but The Obama Diaries tells a different tale. Through these diary entries, readers will see past the carefully constructed Obama faÇade to the administration’s true plans to remake America.

In The Obama Diaries, Ingraham hilariously skewers the president and his minions. She takes aim at:

•the cynical razzle-dazzle marketing of Obama’s radical agenda

•the use of the Obama brand and family to obscure Obama’s true aims

•Michelle Obama’s gardening and anti-obesity initiative; and much more.

Informative and hugely entertaining, The Obama Diaries will inspire both laughter and critical thinking about the future of the nation and the man currently at the helm.

Excerpts from Laura Ingraham’s The Obama Diaries

Obama on Sarah Palin:

Hell, doesn’t Palin have anything better to do than criticize me? Shouldn’t she be back home shooting some endangered wolf species from a helicopter? (April 9, 2010)

Michelle on being First Lady:

I’ll be damned if all this fabulosity is going to go to waste reading Dr. Seuss to snot-nosed kids all day. (January 23, 2009)

Vice President Joe Biden on Michelle Obama:

She’s kind of like a black Hillary Clinton. I mean that in a good way.  (May 5, 2009)

Obama on his visit to the Vatican:

If I can ingratiate myself with a few more of these red-hats, the pope thing might not be a bad follow-up to the presidency.  (July 10, 2009)

KENDRA BARES ALL

Fans of the E! smash hit series The Girls Next Door fell in love with sporty Playboy beauty Kendra Wilkinson’s care- free spirit, infectious laugh, and down-to-earth nature. Now that she’s moved out of the world’s most famous bachelor pad and into her own delightfully chaotic world on Kendra as wife to NFL star Hank Baskett and mother to their newborn son, we’ve watched her hilarious antics as she adjusts to domestic life. But how much do we really know about the fun-loving star? In this humorous and optimistic, sometimes heartbreaking, but always unfailingly honest memoir, Kendra reveals the highs and lows of her extraordinary journey.

She wasn’t always the quintessential girl next door. Before she was a reality television superstar, Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend, or one of the most popular Playboy cover models ever, Kendra was an athletic tomboy whose father walked out on her family when she was a little girl. She grew into a rebellious teenager with a serious drug habit before she quit cold turkey and beat the odds to graduate from a high school that almost didn’t give her a second (or third, or fourth) chance.

Following her rocky teenage years, an out-of-the- blue phone call from Hugh Hefner changed everything. Kendra dishes candidly about life in the Playboy Mansion: the sex, the parties, the show, and even her relationships with her Girls Next Door costars—Hef, Holly, and Bridget. She tells the true story about how she and Hank met and built a relationship in secret while she was still Hef’s girl- friend and a public face of Playboy. Finally, she reflects on the slew of unexpected changes in the short space of a year that have brought her sliding into home from Playboy party girl to wife and mother with a blooming Hollywood career. If you think you’ve seen all of Kendra, think again. She’s only warming up. . . .

Single-player CAMPAIGN WALKTHROUGH covers all possible mission branches, including bonus objectives throughout the campaign.
Exclusive MAPS found only in the official guide, show locations of units, enemy bases, and key terrain points.
Dedicated BATTLE.NET guide explains how to find and manage friends, chat with other players, and use the matchmaking system to find multiplayer matches at appropriate skill levels.
Dedicated MP BEGINNER guide offers early build suggestions for all 3 races, plus strategies for first-time players.
MASSIVE MULTIPLAYER STRATEGY is gleaned from matches with amateur gamers, plus professional players from all over the world.
Multiplayer coverage includes RTS basics; coverage of ALL TERRAN, PROTOSS, and ZERG UNITS; COMBAT strategies, and MULTIPLAYER MAPS.
PLUS: the book is hardcover with a foil treatment on the cover!
ALSO INCLUDED: An A-frame multi-player map stand that displays ALL 50 Game launch multiplayer maps! This secret weapon will allow you to see through the fog of war and you re your opponents out.

The Diary of President Barack Obama

The White House

May 19, 2010

I was going to write about tonight’s state dinner for Mexico and the amnesty plan, but we’ve got a national crisis here! I think somebody’s been snooping in this diary! The pages are all wrinkled! And the most personal entries are dog-eared! WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?

(WASHINGTON, D.C.) On May 20, 2010, Laura Ingraham received a package from an anonymous source that will change the history of the United States and the legacy of President Barack Obama. While retrieving her automobile from the underground garage at the Watergate complex (where she had just enjoyed her weekly pedicure), Ingraham discovered a manila envelope on the hood of her car. When she picked it up, a deep baritone voice called out from a nearby stairwell: Just read it. You’ll know what to do. The shadowy figure then disappeared into the darkness without another word.

The envelope contained copies of what appeared to be diary entries written by President Barack Obama, his family, and high-ranking administration officials. Because the diaries are so revealing, Ingraham felt compelled to release them to the American public and the citizens of the world.

Major media outlets love to describe the president as no drama Obama, but The Obama Diaries tells a different tale. Through these diary entries, readers will see past the carefully constructed Obama façade to the administration’s true plans to remake America.

In The Obama Diaries, Ingraham hilariously skewers the president and his minions. She takes aim at:

•the cynical razzle-dazzle marketing of Obama’s radical agenda

•the use of the Obama brand and family to obscure Obama’s true aims

•Michelle Obama’s gardening and anti-obesity initiative; and much more.

Informative and hugely entertaining, The Obama Diaries will inspire both laughter and critical thinking about the future of the nation and the man currently at the helm.

•the use of the Obama brand and family to obscure Obama’s true aims•Michelle Obama’s gardening and anti-obesity initiative; and much more. Informative and hugely entertaining, The Obama Diaries will inspire both laughter and critical thinking about the future of the nation and the man currently at the helm.Excerpts from Laura Ingraham’s The Obama Diaries

Obama on Sarah Palin:

Hell, doesn’t Palin have anything better to do than criticize me? Shouldn’t she be back home shooting some endangered wolf species from a helicopter? (April 9, 2010)

Michelle on being First Lady:

I’ll be damned if all this fabulosity is going to go to waste reading Dr. Seuss to snot-nosed kids all day. (January 23, 2009)

Vice President Joe Biden on Michelle Obama:

She’s kind of like a black Hillary Clinton. I mean that in a good way.  (May 5, 2009)

Obama on his visit to the Vatican:

If I can ingratiate myself with a few more of these red-hats, the pope thing might not be a bad follow-up to the presidency.  (July 10, 2009)

Described by The New York Times as, “a treasure of fashion insiders,” Take Ivy was originally published in Japan in 1965, setting off an explosion of American-influenced “Ivy Style” fashion among students in the trendy Ginza shopping district of Tokyo. The product of four sartorial style enthusiasts, Take Ivy is a collection of candid photographs shot on the campuses of America’s elite, Ivy League universities. The series focuses on men and their clothes, perfectly encapsulating the unique academic fashion of the era. Whether lounging in the quad, studying in the library, riding bikes, in class, or at the boathouse, the subjects of Take Ivy are impeccably and distinctively dressed in the finest American-made garments of the time.

Take Ivy is now considered a definitive document of this particular style, and rare original copies are highly sought after by “trad” devotees worldwide. A small-run reprint came out in Japan in 2006 and sold out almost immediately. Now, for the first time ever, powerHouse is reviving this classic tome with an all-new English translation. Ivy style has never been more popular, in Japan or stateside, proving its timeless and transcendent appeal. Take Ivy has survived the decades and is an essential object for anyone interested in the history or future of fashion.

No secret is too dark.
No revelation too sick. But you must have the appetite for it.

After forty years, twenty-eight ODs, three botched suicides, two heart attacks, a couple of jail stints, and a debilitating stroke, Steven Adler, the most self-destructive rock star ever, is ready to share the shattering untold truth in My Appetite for Destruction.

When Adler was eleven years old he told his two closest friends he was going to be a rock star in the world's greatest band. Along with four uniquely talented—but very complicated and demanding—musicians, Adler helped form Guns N' Roses. They rose from the streets—primal rockers who obliterated glam rock and its big hair to resurrect rock's truer blues roots.

They were relentless rock stars, onstage and off, taking sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll to obscene levels of reckless abandon. By the late 1980s, GNR was the biggest rock band in the world, demanding headlines, awards, and sold-out shows, with one of the greatest rock albums of all time: Appetite for Destruction. But there was a price to pay. For Adler, it was his health and his sanity, culminating in a brutal banishment by his once-beloved musical brothers. Adler digs deep, revealing the last secrets, not only his own but GNR's as well: Slash's betrayal, Axl's unpredictable temper, and Duff's revenge. He bares it all with this shocking fuck-the-fates exposÉ that charts his meteoric rise and devastating collapse.

Adler was humiliated and disgraced when Axl Rose kicked him out of GNR in front of an MTV audience of millions. Adler plunged into the dark side, spending most of the next twenty years in a drug-fueled hell. But he finally beat his epic addiction to crack and heroin under the care of Dr. Drew Pinsky.

With Adler's newfound clarity comes a fierce determination to tell it all. Revelatory, heartbreaking, hilarious, and ultimately inspirational, you will never read anything more jaw-droppingly honest than My Appetite for Destruction.